


Nightmares

by Titti



Series: Old Grudges [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-04-21
Updated: 2002-04-21
Packaged: 2019-01-16 05:18:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12336237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Severus comforts Sirius.





	Nightmares

Severus was never one to waste time on such trivial things like sleep. A few hours of sleep per night were more than enough. It was not uncommon for him to spend his nights roaming around the castle, looking for students who were out past curfew. It allowed him to protect them and to take as many points as possible from the other houses. 

Tonight, he had retired to his chamber early. Sirius was already asleep, but the Potions Master couldn't fall asleep. He moved back to the living room and started reading a book about Muggle psychology.

The book didn't hold his attention for long. His thoughts went to the man sleeping in his guest room. In the past two months, their hatred had changed into something else. Not quite friendship, but an understanding.

Sirius' declaration of love under the effect of the veritaserum potion had caused Severus to rethink his own attitude toward the Gryffindor. He found with each passing day that they were more alike than anyone suspected.

They both had their lives changed by Voldemort. Azkaban had left a mark on both of them. Hatred, mistrust and suspicions were an intrinsical part of their lives.

If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he was developing feeling for the other man. Nothing as foolish as love, of course, but he did feel empathy for Sirius. Of course, honesty was highly overrated. With thought of Sirius still on his mind, Severus fell into troubled sleep. 

The scream pierced through the night and the thick stones. Severus woke up with a start, still sitting in the armchair. It took him an instant to clear his sleep-obfuscated brain and to determine where the shout had come from. He ran toward Sirius's bedroom, wand out.

When he busted through the door, he found no one but the animagus. Sirius was sitting in his bed, droplets of sweat covering his naked chest, his long hair pasted to his face, neck and shoulder. His breathing was ragged. His eyes were lost in a world of darkness and terror. The shadows created by the slightly opened door gave the wizard a haunted look.

"Lumos."

"No," Sirius shrieked. 

"Nox," Severus muttered while sitting at the edge of the bed facing the other wizard.

"I can't bring them into the light."

"They?" Severus questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Lily's and James' death, the Dementors, Azkaban, Peter's betrayal. They haunt me, always in my dreams, always in the dark."

"They are only nightmares, Sirius."

"You're wrong. They are my life. I should be dead, Severus." He lay back down and curled in a fetal position. "I want to be dead." 

Severus was stupefied by the confession. The famous Sirius Black was a broken man, much worse than anyone suspected. The Potions Master looked at the man and felt connected to him. He would probably be in the same situation if Dumbledore hadn't helped him.

Going against years of conditioned hatred, Severus felt the need to help Sirius, to protect him from himself and his ghosts. The professor wanted to make this man feel alive once more. Not love, but empathy, he repeated to himself.

The Slytherin grabbed the other man's wrists and forced him off the bed. He pushed Sirius in front of the dresser and stood behind him. Severus pulled the long locks away from Sirius' face. A feeble light filtered from the other room and lit the mirror standing over the dresser. 

"Look at that mirror."

When Sirius refused, Severus captured the animagus' cheeks with his fingers and forced him to stare at their reflections.

"Do you know what I see, Sirius? I see a strong man who has survived a great injustice, but fought so he could protect his godson, a man who risked his life to be near a boy whom he hadn't seen in twelve years."

"Very noble intentions you describe, so very like a Gryffindor, but my motivations were anything but noble. I was driven by revenge and hate. I wasn't even able to kill the bastard. And now I'm alone, and I feel so cold inside."

"You're not alone, Sirius."

Severus wrapped his arms around the other man. Sirius closed his eyes at the intimate touch.

"Open your eyes, Sirius," Severus whispered. "I want you to see the man I loved to hate -" Sirius snorted. "- full of life and warmth."

Severus knew better than to continue this. Nothing good could come from the two of them being together, but he could not stop. 'I simply want to help,' he tried to justify his action in his mind. In truth, he wanted this, plain and simple.

He needed to be wanted. After years of loneliness, the warmth against his body was too inviting, too alluring. Million reasons came to mind why a better partner should be chosen, but for once rationality didn't prevail. Severus wanted the rival of his student days in his arms, begging for his touch, finding life in their lovemaking.

Sirius shivered when he felt the ghost of a kiss on his neck. He shouldn't have been surprised. He could see the Slytherin in the mirror, parting his lips before grazing his own skin, but it didn't seem real.

Surprise turned into shock when Severus didn't pull away, quite the opposite. Those soft lips moved slowly over his cold skin. Sirius was mesmerized at the sight.

Suddenly, those comforting arms that were supporting Sirius disappeared. The wizard whimpered in protest and fear.

"I'm still here, Sirius." The warm voice felt like a velvet glove teasing his skin. The wet kiss on his shoulder was a beautiful companion to that feeling.

Sirius looked again into the mirror and saw the heavy, black robe being pushed off Severus' shoulder. It fell unaccompanied to the floor. He almost turned around. Almost. Severus' reflection prevented him to move. The obsidian eyes were like sweltering lava, threatening to destroy him with passion and lust.

Sirius was so enthralled by that forceful gaze that he never saw the white shirt fall on the floor on top of the robe. When Severus pulled him close again, the sensation of naked skin against his back overwhelmed him. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back. He rested his head on Severus' shoulder while his arm wrapped around the other wizard's neck.

Severus kissed the other man on his temple, softly and tenderly. His hands travelled over the perfect torso of his former enemy. The Slytherin could feel the heat emanating from a body that had been neglected for too long.

"You truly are a beautiful man." 

Before the words even registered in Sirius' mind, he felt an arm reach across his chest and grab his hair. He was forced to turn his head until he was staring at Severus. Sirius tried to move but Severus wrapped his other arm around his waist and held him immobile so that their bodies were still connected. Then, Severus kissed him.

Sirius closed his eyes once more and let the emotions sweep over him. He had been kissed by many women, or more precisely girls. He was used to timid lips savouring his own. Nothing in his life had prepared him for this unique form of claiming.

Severus didn't want to let go of that sweet mouth. He kept his fingers curled amidst the wavy locks, allowing their lips to part only for sporadic breaths. 

His other hand moved to find Sirius' free hand. His fingers were intertwined with Sirius'. Their joined hands began to explore the Gryffindor's body once more. Sirius moaned into the kiss when their fingers brushed over his hardening nipples.

"Look at yourself, Sirius. I can see your passion flowing through your body, your energy coursing through your veins. You are life, Sirius."

Severus pressed their hands against Sirius' erection, rubbing through the worn cotton of the Gryffindor's trousers.

"Please, stop. I can't..."

"I thought this is what you wanted, Sirius." The Slytherin's hands kept moving, still tantalizing the needy body.

"It is, but...Please, don't tease me. I've wanted you for so long. You can't give the illusion and then, take it away. I wouldn't be able to go on."

"I'm not teasing you. I want this, I want you."

"Oh God, Severus, I never thought this would happen."

Sirius had no more words, no more thought. He let himself be swept by the arousing sensation that the other wizard was creating. He couldn't look at the mirror anymore. He needed to forget the world and concentrate on his lover, on those exquisite hands working their unique brand of magic.

When he reopened his eyes, he realized that they were completely naked. Sirius couldn't remember when he had stepped out of his trousers, but it wasn't important. Not anymore. Not when Severus was touching him, kissing him, loving him.

He couldn't stand anymore. His moaning and pleading sounded too needy even to his own ears. He leaned forward and rested his arms on the dresser, trying to stay upright under the intense sexual assault.

A whimper. _That_ is supposed to hurt. A finger inside him was not supposed to feel so good, so right. But it did and he couldn't help but whimper again. 

Sirius felt the hand drawing circles on his lower back, petting him, soothing him. Almost too close to pity, but then a second finger is slipped inside his body and the calming motion is welcomed.

He turned around and watched the intensity on Severus' face. Sirius could see the desire so similar to his own. He could see something else that he couldn't quite decipher. He never had the time to focus on it because those fingers touched something inside him that no one had ever reached. White sparkles of desire rushed through his body. So intense.

"Please, Severus, I need you now."

"Patience, Sirius. It's your first time. I don't want to hurt you."

And Sirius could hear the concern in the usually reserved tone, but there was more: a hint of pride, or maybe possessiveness. 

"My first time," he whispered back, with a dreamy smile on his face.

The smile changed into unleashed bliss when strong fingers wrapped around his cock, at the same time that a third finger slipped into his opening. And he didn't care if it was his first time, if it was going to hurt. He wanted to be joined with Severus, his Severus, the man he had dreamt about for years.

"Can't wait, Severus. Now, please." 

He hadn't meant to sound to pleading, but it worked, because he felt Severus stand up and move against his back once more. Slick erection pressing against his arse. Fingers working his prick.

"Are you certain you're ready? Ready for me?"

Severus needed to know how much Sirius wanted him, not just sex. No matter how much the Gryffindor had claimed to want him, the Slytherin was well aware that words were cheap. He used them as a weapon when he was a spy, as a tool now that he was a teacher. Words meant nothing.

The body pressing against him, trying to engulf his cock, spoke louder than any declaration of love.

Sirius tensed when his wish was finally granted. And Merlin, it did hurt. A fire ignited inside him. A wet and cool mouth fasted on his neck shifted his focus, only to be distracted again by the hand pumping him faster now. Before he knew, he could feel his lover's balls against his arse. Pain replaced by intense pleasure.

The animagus stared at their reflection in the mirror. Severus had been partially right. He wasn't beautiful. They were beautiful, together.

Severus' thought was strangely similar to his lover's. How could he have denied the both of them this perfection? They were simply amazing together. 

Sirius needed to bring this to its unavoidable conclusion. He began to plunge forward into that strong grip, only to shove back and impale himself. Severus let him set the rhythm, while brushing his damp hair and murmuring encouragements in his ear.

The scream that cut through the night was one of pure pleasure. Sirius wasn't sure if he ever felt such powerful sensations. His body certainly didn't think so. Only the dresser and Severus' arms kept him upright.

Severus was on the edge. That tight body convulsing around him had brought him so close. The sight of his lover completely undone brought over the brink of his pleasurable journey. When he opened his eyes, an unguarded smile welcomed him.

"Thank you," Sirius murmured.

A kiss was his answer, before taking his lover to bed. They lay in each other's arms. Their nightmares dispelled by the other's presence.


End file.
